Disturbia
by syyg
Summary: This is towards the beginning of bleach, after the Soul Society arc. Ichigo contemplates what is going on, and struggles under what he's supposed to do.


_"bum bum be dum bum_

_bum be dum bum_

_what is going on with me?_

_bum bum be dum bum_

_bum be dum bum_

_why do I feel like this?"_

Ichigo was thinking as he sang the american pop song. he had a bit of a break between fights against and fights for the shinigami. But what really was going on with him? Why were these things happening to him?

_"I'm going crazy now_

_No more gas in the rig_

_can't even get it started_

_nothing heard, nothing said_

_can't even speak about it"_

It wasn't as if this was something he could discuss with his dad- while yes he knew that the other could be serious, he didn't want his father to worry about him. The elder Kurosaki couldn't even see spirits, much less even attempt to help him fight hollows… Or anything else that threatened his hometown and his loved ones.

_"all my life on my head_

_don't want to think about it_

_feels like I'm going insane, yeah_

_there's a thief in the night to come and grab you_

_it can creep up inside you and consume you_

_a disease of the mind, it can control you_

_it's too close for comfort"_

he had always been able to see ghosts. It was that talent that had led to the death of his mother. He had to deal with a distorted voice in his head, one that had first shown up in his fight with Byakuya. It had wanted to kill the captain, because the noble was an opponent blocking their way to achieving their goals… It usually whispered and cackled at him when he was trying to fall asleep at night.

_"Throw on your break lights, we're in the city of wonder_

_Ain't going to play nice, watch out you might just go under_

_Better think twice your train of thought will be altered _

_so if you must falter be wise_

_your mind is in disturbia, it's like darkness is the light_

_disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?_

_disturbia, ain't used to what you like_

_disturbia, disturbia"_

Soul Society was vastly different from the world of the living. The way they handled things and dealt with people was much harsher and extreme than many countries in the human world. What was wrong and what was right in the world of the living did not necessarily hold true to the spirit world, Ichigo had found out (usually the hard way).

_"Faded pictures on the wall, it's like they talking to me _

_Disconnecting on calls, the phone don't even ring _

_I gotta get out or figure this shit out _

_It's too close for comfort, oh _

_It's a thief in the night to come and grab you _

_It can creep up inside you and consume you _

_A disease of the mind it can control you _

_I feel like a monster, oh" _

The voice in his head had talked about taking him over and devouring him… and he was fairly certain that the voice was his hollow doppleganger that he'd fought for Zangetsu after he'd lost a big fight. Ichigo was terrified that the voice would take him over and destroy everything.

_"Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder _

_Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under _

_Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered _

_So if you must falter be wise _

_Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light _

_Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight? _

_Disturbia, ain't used to what you like _

_Disturbia, disturbia, disturbia"_

When he had fought normal hollows, everything was fine, no voice, no weird shifts in power or anything. But still, Ichigo was afraid that if he might be getting the feeling of being overwhelmed by an opponent, or under too much stress, that the voice might try to take him over again. And might just suceede this time.

_"Release me from this curse I'm in _

_Trying to maintain but I'm struggling _

_If you can't go-o-o _

_I think I'm gonna ah, ah, ah, ah _

_Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder _

_Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under _

_Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered _

_So if you must falter be wise" _

He had thought to go to Urahara, the shopkeeper knew a lot of things and had been the one to help him regain his shinigami powers… But it was that very fact that had the teen hesitant to go to him for help. what if the shopkeeper had done that deliberately?… granted he had needed the power boost in order to overcome Byakuya but… Couldn't the blonde have asked before screwing around with Ichigo's soul?

_Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light _

_Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight? _

_Disturbia, ain't used to what you like _

_Disturbia, disturbia" _


End file.
